Oakwood.

Yesterday, I ventured to Oakwood with Bleu, FouFace and The Tree. I was rather scared of going at first, knowing that the Tree was going to be there.
I was picked up in the Tree's mothers car. This car is horrific. It stinks and every space is filled with random junk that's been thrown in by the Tree. I was forced to sit in the middle, between a sweet smiling FouFace (she is called FouFace to the brilliant German version of loser she had created), and Bleu. I was immediately shocked to hear the Tree and Bleu having a normal conversation, without any sarcasm or nasty comments to each other. This behaviour was completely out of the ordinary. I was scared.
As we journeyed down to Oakwood we all made sure that we had coats and such things, as the weather was not good.
When we arrived we queued up for rather a long time, whilst trying to find the cheapest way of entering Oakwood. The plan was that Bleu and I would be husband and wife (not amused) and that the Tree and FouFace would be our children or nieces or whatever. Just before paying the Tree chickened out, even though it had been her idea to pretend to be a family, and we ended up paying full price.
We wandered into Oakwood, as families with small children boarded the train into Oakwood, thinking that this would speed up their entry. That was not the case.
We ran to the toboggans, as they usually have the biggest queue, where I managed to break a toboggan cart, and I'd only been in Oakwood for two minutes! For the rest of the morning we ran to each ride, going back to Bounce every so often to dry ourselves off. Bleu began telling us that he wanted to go on Snake River Falls, we ignored him, but he kept repeating himself until we finally gave in. When we finally reached the top of the stairs, we were told to squeeze ourselves into a small wet dingy, which lay next to a rather cute looking assistant, whom we talked German, French, Spanish and a bit of Polish to. He just gawped and pressed the button to let us go. I think he was glad to see us go.
Before food we thought we should go on Brear Rabbit, just to calm ourselves down. We sat ourselves down on the small multicoloured train, and set forth. Instantly we could see the mistake we had made. There were old stuffed robotic gangsta rabbits everywhere. There was one in the washing machine, one in the bath, and two, rather strangely, fondling each others arms, as the strings had stopped pulling them up and down. We screamed the whole way around the ride. The train driver just looked at us with disgust. We dived off the ride and ran away.
During food the Tree did nothing but stuff her face and complain about everything and everyone. "My feet hurt", "This chip doesn't taste right", "I told my mother that I'd be fine wearing vest." And the complaints simply did not stop. I wish she could at least have some manners and complain once she'd finished everything that was in her mouth, not in the middle of a mouthful of chips and chicken and other food. The Bleu began to tell us that expensive clothes were the best. He was telling this to three females who shop in Primark and other such cheap shops. Bad idea. Soon we were all putting our opinions across, and Bleu did not like it at all.
After food we headed to the pedal boats. As we sat on the boats, the heavens opened, and I bolted off the boat and into shelter. There we transformed ourselves into the poncho clan. Bleu, FouFace and the Tree had yellow ponchos, and I, of course, had to be different and wear a green one, which I put on inside out at first. We ventured back into the pedal boat, with Bleu and the Tree pedalling, oh sorry, I'll re-phrase that, with Bleu pedalling and the Tree pretending to pedal. After quarter of an hour wasted we went on all the other rides.
FouFace had never been on Speed, and so we were determined that she go on it once. FouFace was almost in tears as we neared the front of the queue. I, on the other hand, was bouncing with excitement. As we sat down on the ride, and I took my glasses, the Tree told me that I was looking a lot prettier these days, especially without my glasses. She then told me that she used to think I looked ugly without my glasses, but had changed her mind. The thought that came into my mind was, "how long has she been staring at my new picture on bebo for?" This terrified me.
After being on Speed a few times and on the other rides a fair few times, we all made our way to Spooky 3D, having not been on it for years. Sitting outside the ride were two guys. One was tall, brown haired, with a bit of a beard, and a attractive face. He was rather hot. The other guy was slightly taller than me, with large eyes, blond hair and a huge mouth. He was not hot. The hot guy told us that we'd have to push ourselves around, because he couldn't be bothered to go inside. We didn't mind. They both went inside and sent us around Spooky 3D. Bleu and the Tree were bricking themselves. Everything was going fine until the hot guy dived out from behind one of the walls and dived onto our cart. We screamed as the guys eyes were lit up by the UV lights. As we got off Bleu, FouFace and the Tree got off the ride and walked off. I got off the cart and was confronted by the hot guy, who was blocking the way. He wouldn't move, so I pushed his lovely feeling chest, and he pushed back. After a few minutes of pushing and pulling, he finally let me pass. We walked away, but the Tree told me that I shouldn't flirt with staff because she liked him, which meant we had to go on the ride again, several other times. During these visits we found out that the hot guys name was Joe and he was 20. Then we left to have food, in the Oakwood cafeteria. FouFace had a greasy looking salad, Bleu had a children's meal, the Tree had curry with chips and rice, and I had a packed lunch. And, as before, the complaints reeled their way out. "My feet hurt", "That guy Joe definitely likes me, we're gunna HAVE to go back". The Tree then left us to go sort out her "bad feet", and to my surprise FouFace instantly stated that she was fed up of the Tree and her moaning. I'd always thought that FouFace liked the Tree. The Tree then returned with paper towels to place in her bright blue crocs, which she did whilst we were eating. Yum.
The Tree dragged us back to Spooky 3D, for another quarter of an hour of going around. Bleu didn't even bother coming the ride, he stood outside for the entire time. As we went around and around, each time Joe scared us. Other females were coming on the ride aswell, whispering of the hot guy. The Tree was not pleased of the other competitors.
At 9:20pm we stood outside, pondering whether to enter the ride again. As we pondered, the not so hot guy emerged followed by the hot guy asking what the time was. Also arriving at this point were 2 other females, from Swansea. One was in a black and white outfit (i did like her shoes), and the other was wearing a black dress with a multicoloured bauble hat and ginger hair. These 2 females were also rather liking Joe, and so we all stood and chatted, until Joe and not so hot guy invited us to come in to the ride building.
The Tree was on a mission. Her hoodie was zipped down a bit, to show her massive cleavage, and she was pushing them into Joe's face. Joe didn't flinch.
Both guys locked up the ride at quarter to 10, and we made our way over to the fireworks. I could see the Tree eyeing up the not so good looking one. This also scared me.
We watched the fireworks with the Tree, FouFace, Bleu and not so hot guy standing in front of me, and me and Joe standing pretty damn close to each other behind. That bit I liked. I should have grabbed his hand but I was too scared.
After the fireworks finished we walked back up to the exit. At this point Joe asked me if I had facebook and msn, and the Tree was leaning in to see if he'd ask her. Sadly for her, he didn't.
And then they left, and we were on our way home.
Today, all the tree could talk about was Joe, but she told me that the not so hot guy had asked for her msn. She also told me that he thought he was a bit of eye candy.
Poor old Tree.
Your partners will never be normal.
Enjoy with him, but be safe and use a condom.
We dont want baby trees running around the place.